Emptiness, regret and disappointment

Posted on 17. May, 2011 by in Blog, Motivation

Those are three emotions that I never want to feel. I would like to think that no one would ever want to feel any of those things. However, I sometimes see it in the eyes of gym goers and even some clients that have fallen away from their goals. I have seen it in people that have spent large amounts of time and money on memberships and training packages, only to realize that they wasted both, because of lack of motivation or just simple laziness.

You see, just because you join a gym or hire a trainer or coach to help you get to your personal fitness goals, doesn’t mean it is going to automatically happen. There is a misconception out there with some, that the trainer is magically going to solve all of the person’s physical problems…that this trainer is going to, by him or herself, make all of the fat melt away, automatically pack on slabs of lean muscle, and by just by meeting with the client twice a week, magically transform the person into a God or Goddess within that one month training package.

The truth is, the trainer or coach is only a small part of the equation. Sure, good trainers can certainly guide the program and help the person achieve more than they ever have before. However, the main responsibility falls with the client. Too many times the client either forgets this or simply doesn’t realize it, and this is a dangerous assumption.

It becomes regrettable for some that all of that time and money were wasted, and while some realize that they have just fallen back into the same old habits as before, others will play the blame game, and not take any of the responsibility.

Others become disappointed in the lack of results. Sure they “showed” up and even worked hard at times. However, many don’t realize that the other 23 hours during the day are just as, or in most cases, more important than the hour spent in the gym.

Some feel the emptiness inside after realizing that their training package is up, or that their goal date is passed, and they have nothing really to show for it. Many give up trying after they experience this horrible feeling.

As a trainer or coach, I can yell, scream, lecture, get in your face, use stories, etc… just about anything to try and “motivate” someone for that 30 or 60 minutes that they are with me. But in all honesty, if the client doesn’t have a real level of motivation, the kind that is deep down…hard wired in their gut, it really isn’t going to last and won’t go very far. This kind of motivation needs to be found, and once it is, needs to be nurtured so it can grow. I cant give it to the person…in all reality, no one can. The person needs to find it.

The cool thing is, it is there, only waiting to be found. Whether the client needs to remind him or herself of the whys, in other words, the “reasons” that they are here, or just needs to refocus on the what’s, what is important and gain some measure of inspiration from that…might be all they need. Many times it is just one small decision…a decision that is made on the way to the gym, or even during the walk to the boot camp, or training session. That decision is as simple as “I am going to leave everything I have on the floor today. This WILL be the best, most hard working session I have ever had.” Words…that is all they are, but words can bring action and that action can be the difference maker.

I have watched too many people show up for sessions, and worse, go through entire sessions half-assed, dogging it all of the way. Sometimes this is a hard thing to grasp… “Why would someone spend their hard-earned money and all of this time on training, when they are not ever working at it?” Going through the motions, rarely gets any real results. Many of these people have laid down thousands of dollars, and months of time and have nothing to show for it, except for regret, disappointment, and emptiness. THAT…is no way to live.

The moral of the story is for everyone to re-evaluate their current motivational level and figure out if it is enough. Think about the drive and motivation that comes from deep down…examine the “whys” and then think about whether the actions go along with the overall goals. It isn’t only that 1 hour that you train or exercise, it is the other 23 hours as well. But still, don’t underestimate that one hour either. That one hour is the easy part. All a person has to do it “bring it”…everything they have. Make that decision before you walk into the door. Once you master that one hour, the other 23 can be mastered as well.

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